Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
