i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
