her vagine was all disorganized.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
time to smoke my breakfast
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It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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