you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's just like the Real World with babies
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
