We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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