anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
