forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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