i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
