I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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