he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
