I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
