I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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