She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
