ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
