Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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