YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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