it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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