She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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