It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
