It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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