Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
