He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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