shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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