I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
