Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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