This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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