check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
