she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
