Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
