I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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