You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
