Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
