dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
