He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
