I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
