Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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