Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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