you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Blood and glitter go together right?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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