I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize