You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
