Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
