Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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