She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
