We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
