She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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