Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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