His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I need help removing her.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
