Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize