He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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