plz talk dirty to me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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