End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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