he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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