I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it's like iHOP with fire
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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