I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
