i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
