you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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