The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
