I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
