I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I won't apologize to a one balled man
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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