I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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