can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize