LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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