im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
