I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
