Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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