i barfeds in our rink
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
